Old Money

The press reported last week that this pastel by Degas was stolen from a Museum in France. It was worth over a million dollars.
It reminded me of a small Degas I saw hanging on the wall of the toilet, in the house of a notable French couple. I was surprised that it was not displayed more prominently. I bluntly asked to the lady of the house if it was genuine. "I would think so" replied the lady dryly. Then I asked why on earth she did exhibit it in the john.
"I just do not like it," she said.
That is the difference between old money and new money.
Old money, you can't fake it.

Small cons downtown: how to steal from the poor

There are small Ponzis and small cons that seldom make it in the justice system: in Savannah where I live, for instance, small crimes against poor people are committed every day. There is this nice couple trying to sell some exotic fruit juice to a small restaurant owner: it cures cancer, they tell him. I raise my head over my coffee to explain that they have no right to say that. They are defensive: it is on the list of qualities that the juice company manager has recommended to them. They show me the list in good faith: of course it has no name or address on it. I explain to them that they can be sued, not the manager, because they cannot prove the paper came from him. The fruit in question not only cures cancer, but every disease you can think of such as the flu or broken bones.

A more successful con around here is a pyramid: you pay 500 dollars for a lecture (usually about how to get rich), then you find three people who will pay you 500 dollars for the lecture, and your benefit is a thousand bucks. It has to work, right? If it does not work, it is your fault. The victims do not even know that it is an illegal scheme, so they do not complain.

The worst financial crime in Savannah is against black women, although an old white lonely woman is a likely victim too. Why black women? I guess there is in some families a cultural bias, a make-believe that the man has more authority, more competence than the woman. Any woman who believes it is prone to become a victim. Here is how the con works. Imagine a situation, very common around here, where the woman is working and the man is mainly going out and spending money, if he makes any. When comes the time to buy a house, the man says: "Let me take care of it. I know how to deal with this". The sale happens with the name of the man on the deed, no trace of the name of the woman. Later, divorce or separation occurs, and the woman discovers that she has no right to the house. Cases like this are difficult to prove. I have seen four cases without making any research, so it has to be common.

Business in need of translation

Ultimate simplicity: Belgian flag for Belgian beer.
Image from http://www.neatorama.com/2008/03/16/beer-flags/

Try this ten days for ten dollars
As seen on TV: Free trial is outmoded, now you can try whatever for a ridiculous price. I find interesting that the two firms using this trick recently never tell you the price of the stuff on TV. Translation: the stuff is so expensive that they wont tell you the real price until it is too late.
Lifetime free replacement of anything
If it is a small business: they plan to go bankrupt immediately after the sale
If it is a big one: the shipping and handling will cover their cost
Ten tools in one
Translation: none of them tools works properly
Do you know your sleep number?
Smartest way to sell an air mattress!
Save 400 dollars with our car insurance
This is hard to translate, because all major companies promise the same thing. It does not make mathematical sense. Unless of course they share the market secretly: you in this state, me in that one, or me the old, you the careful drivers. But of course, they would not do that because it is illegal. Any translation?
Ads with dogs
Do not buy it. The product is not good by itself or it is too expensive. I make an exception for Bush beans, because it is an ongoing story where the dog plays against its traditional role.
Ask your doctor if this medication is good for you
Translation: your risk of being killed by it instead of cured is important.Scratch important, replace by not negligible.
What doctors (or some dealer) do not want you to know
Translation: We intend to make money out of a patsy like you. Because if the stuff worked, the doctors or pharmacists or whatever would sell it themselves, wouldn't they?
As seen on TV: "Post shredded wheat does not believe in progress"
Translation; some stupid pub firm has made a study showing that (a) a lot of ecolo buy the product (b)ecologists are usually conservative.
How many people like me will never buy Post again because of their stupid ad is not factored in.
What it says about CNN or MSNBC, I am not sure. Money pimp?

Michael's Jackson's money

Nobody has said yet what i think about Michael's untimely death. I just think: "another famous black guy who dies without a cent"
It is hard enough for each of us to spend wisely the little money we have, it is extremely hard to handle tens of millions and hundreds of millions when you have no financial education. Agatha Christie had that problem, I remember her saying that there was a moment when the money ceases to be pleasant enough to get and becomes a real hassle.
Michael Caine recently said that when he told his mother that he was earning one million pounds per film, she asked "How much is that?"

Sportsmen are supposed to have some financial education, though sometimes you wonder: I remember baseball player Ricky Henderson who framed a check of one million dollars and let it hang on his wall instead of endorsing it.

Usually it is less funny: very friendly sharks will steal the money from under your feet.
You get talented kids? Send them first to a business school.

The wrong planet

Photo courtesy of photos8.com

"If somehow that's impeachable, then I'm on the wrong planet and I'm living in the wrong place" This is what Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich said to a WLS-TV reporter, as reported by the Huffington Post.

It makes me wonder on what planet he is living.

A lot of people ignore that the mind is a pleaser: our mind finds excuses for everything we want to do. You might define this as the original sin, on the Christian side or as some evolutionary safeguard, on the scientific side. We all know that animals cheat (monkeys more than cats and cats more than dogs), so it is human nature to cheat and feel good about it or find excuses for it. It might go back to the necessity to deceive when you hunt. If you do not know this about your own mind, you might wonder indeed on what planet you stand.

Tit-for-tat: "everybody does it"

Murder: "If I had done it, it would have been because I loved her very much" said O.J., never wondering what kind of "love" is that!
He did the same thing recently, going at some people with guns "I did not know it was illegal" he said (really?) and "I did not mean to hurt anybody"(then why use guns to confront his "friends"?)

Rape: all pedophiles on TV say that "they would not hurt a child" (they "love"children) and most rapists explain that "the bitch deserved it" or "the bitch wanted it"(nothing to do with them, poor guys trapped in this unjust world)

Stealing in a grocery store: "they can afford it"(even though it is never Walmart paying for the theft, it is just you and me)

"The boss is a jerk, so I can do this" (why don't you get another job?)

We don't have to claim that we are the most honest person in the world. We just have to know what is going on. If I was (God forbid) Gov. Rod Blagojevich' mom, I would suggest that he takes a honesty test on the web, just to know where he stands on this planet.

Everybody's brain is a pleaser: tell your kids.